


Affection

by mrwellick



Category: Mr. Robot - Fandom, Tyrelliot - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Fluff, Gay, Kisses, Love, M/M, Mental Illness, Romance, Sad, Ship, Songfic, otp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 12:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19724062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrwellick/pseuds/mrwellick
Summary: Elliot and Tyrell love each other very much.





	Affection

**Author's Note:**

> This is another tyrelliot fanfic based on a song. It’s Affection by Amber Run. Please listen to it it’s fucking amazing. Again sorry I suck at summaries but, I hope you enjoy~

_Trust me_

_It always turns out the same_

_Affection has always been a little game_

Elliot Alderson never understood the concept of love. When he was younger, he'd walk down the school hallways and see guys and girls kissing or holding hands. However, Elliot would quickly turn his head an uncertain feeling growing in his stomach. Now here he is today, and not much has changed. His head spins for an entirely different reason than some. The voices keep getting louder and Elliot desperately wants to shut them out. His body shakes, tears falling with ease. Here it comes, the loneliness again. The growing darkness consuming his body. His heart aches with pain, the itching need to be touched. Elliot lingers his fingers around his pants but quickly pulls his hand back in disgust. Such needy creates we are. Always needing to be loved, to be wanted, to feel needed in another's company. Elliot groans, sinking further into the couch. Elliot can see his memories, as clear as day. Screaming at his neurotic face. He needs a hit but he knows he shouldn't. He can see him and young Angela, sitting on a patch of grass together. Elliot leans in, and so does Angela. They kiss only for a brief moment until Angela pulls away. Elliot remembered coming home a crying embarrassed mess. His mother only scuffed and made fun of him. While his father consoled him and took him out to the movies. Elliot never had many girlfriends growing up. Girls thought of him as weird and creepy. While this did hurt Elliot, he quickly came to the conclusion that no one would love him.

_Forgive me_

_It's one I've never understood_

_Love to me has been as bad as good_

Elliot slowly opened his eyes, his head leaning on someone's shoulder. They were warm, and smelt of expensive cologne and shampoo. He looked down at his hands, they were bruised and calloused. But he soon noticed, they were intertwined with someone else's. Their palms were pale and strong. Elliot began panicking and slowly lifted his head. He looked around his atmosphere. Elliot for sure was not in his apartment. Everything looked neatly put together and luxurious. A thought clicked into his brain. He looked over at the person sat beside him, it was Tyrell. He was asleep. His hair was nicely combed back, his face content and soft. Elliot examined him further, notice it he was wearing a light sweater with sweatpants. Elliot cocked his head, looking down at himself. He wasn't wearing his hoodie. He had on his dark feet undershirt and same old pair of jeans. Elliot turned his head and saw his hoodie was tidily folded on the table. The young hacker let out a sigh of relief, as a pair of tired eyes fluttered open. Elliot felt Tyrell's weight shift, he was waking up. Hands still intertwined, Tyrell lazily awoke noticing Elliot was already up. He weakly smiled, yawning in the process. "We must've fallen asleep, what time is it älskling?" Elliot's tongue was dry, he was unsure about everything let alone the time. Tyrell looked closer at Elliot, the unfamiliar confused gaze. The Swedes heart dipped. "Is everything okay Elliot?" Elliot looked at their hands again. He stared at their palms for some time. Wait, were they- "Elliot, did you forget again?" Tyrell's voice was low and shaky. Elliot's eyes darted in every direction, trying to make sense of time. What even is time? Tyrell let go of his hand and leaned up to touch Elliot's face. Elliot pulled back, heart racing. What was he doing? Tyrell's heart cracked eyes glossy and sad. Shit, what did he do now? Elliot stares at his feet. What did he forget? "Elliot, please look at me." The younger timidly obliged, staring into icy blue pupils. Tyrell's eyes were intimidating yet beautiful. Elliot's cheeks blushed. What was that about? "Tell me, what do you remember?" Elliot bit his lip, narrowing his brows. Tyrell looked shaken and scared. He never saw Tyrell this vulnerable looking. He picked his brain as hard as he could, he can't remember anything. At least about them. Elliot's cheeks were still glowing. "I don't remember anything." His voice trailed off, eyes gazing out a nearby window. It was snowing. Unshed tears peered from Tyrell's eyes. Elliot's eyes shrank, this was Mr. Robot's fault wasn't it? That bastard. Tyrell began softly crying. Elliot's heart sank, shit. Elliot doesn't even know what he did so how could he help Tyrell? His cheeks reddened, as he put his hand onto Tyrell's. An image flashed in Elliot's mind. Wait. His stomach flipped, the memories were coming back touch. He put his palm on Tyrell's back. The Swedes breath hitched, he looked at through blurry vision. Elliot leaned even closer, wrapping their fingers together. His memory was getting clearer, but something big was still missing. The younger was inches away from the other man. Tyrell's heartbeat was on fire. In one motion Elliot stared at Tyrell's plump lips, his veins pulsing. "Elliot-" The businessman was cut off but a pair of trembling lips. Elliot's body was moving on its own, slipping his tongue into the Swedes mouth. Tyrell's eyes shrank, all air being sucked from his lungs. Elliot remembered. He remembered everything. It was clear as day. Tyrell's strong hands were around his waist as he whispered into Elliot's ear. "I love you." Elliot continued to deepen the kiss, feeling their bodies move in unison. They weren't stopping anytime soon.

_I'll kiss your eyes and wash your skin_

_Forget myself and let you in_

Two bodies held each other tight, the water running down their exposed skin. Elliot's lips were on Tyrell's wet shoulder. The younger's knees were weak, Elliot could feel himself drifting. Tyrell caressed his sides, kissing his temple and cheek. Elliot never wanted this moment to end, peace and sincerity. He felt truly loved. Nothing felt better than being loved by Tyrell. His affection is irreplaceable. Elliot wouldn't need anything, just this feeling to last until the day he dies. Elliot never saw the appeal until his lips were on his, until he was on Tyrell's bed. They moved in scythe, hips going into hips. Arms wrapped tight and firm. The way Tyrell moved with such ease and knew what spots to hit to make Elliot go absolutely mad. The sound of the shower was a million miles away, replaced with the soft breath erupting from Tyrell's lungs. Elliot held onto him as Tyrell cleaned Elliot's body. Their eyes locked, as Tyrell turned off the cool water. Elliot pulled the other into a deep kiss, as Tyrell carried Elliot to bed.

_Hey ya, hey ya_

_Because all I want is that cold affliction_

_Your affection_

The days passed by and Tyrell would find some nights spent alone. Tyrell cherished the moments him and his lover were together, his soft cheeks pressed up against his or the way they would kiss and cuddle for hours. This was the love Tyrell dreamed of. Elliot was his soulmate, the person he's been waiting as his life to find. However, him and Elliot did how their falling out moments. But Tyrell knew it was never Elliot starting the arguments or fights. It was him. Tyrell sometimes went with Elliot to his therapy sessions. He'd hold his hand, and console him when needed. Elliot was uncertainly back on medication. Tyrell was finally able to coax Elliot, however he still had to check up and make sure he was taking them. Tyrell didn't mind having to hold Elliot's hand at some times, he loves Elliot and wants the very best for him. But on nights like these where he leaves him feeling guilty and lonely, it's the worst. Tyrell ends up drinking from the bottle, getting drunk and passing out on the couch. Or he'd toss and turn in bed, the sheets catching his tears. He loves Elliot so much, he's never loved someone so intensely as Elliot. As the thought passes, his eyes lock onto the photograph of Joanna. Breath caught in his throat, he begins to sob more. Even Joanna and him had his falling outs, but they had too many before anything good could've began. Tyrell stared at the empty baby crib, he clenched his fist. He headed upstairs and crashed into bed, gathering the covers to hide him from existence. He began thinking about Elliot again, his buzz hitting him hard. Lately things were getting more rough with there relationship. Elliot had stop taking his meds which had started the uprising in his attitude and personality. He'd talk differently and was very different in bed. He'd tend to choke Tyrell or fuck him so deep and hard his mind turned to dust. Tyrell did enjoy it for sometime until it began a consistent occurrence he didn't like. He loved the moments were Elliot would ask to be cuddle or would shyly ask to kiss him. The way his cheeks would redden when they held hands or the way his face looked when Tyrell whispered sweet things into his ears. The memories swirled around his head, as he drifted off to sleep. Dreaming of the affection Elliot used to show him.

_Lover_

_Won't you give me a sign_

_Love can be as deaf as it is blind_

Tyrell hasn't heard anything from Elliot in weeks. He'd frequently come by his apartment but he usually wasn't there. His mind has been racing, he just needs to see him. He needs to make sure Elliot's alright. Tyrell locked his house, slipped into his car, and headed towards Elliots street. The city was an absolute mess, teenagers ran with fsociety masks on their face. Snow littered the roads, it was pretty dangerous to drive since there was no one to secure the roads. Tyrell parked his car on the side block, looking up at Elliot's apartment window. The window was cracked open, they was new. He must be home. Tyrell walked up the concrete steps and buzzed Elliot's number. He waited some time until he saw Elliot sneaky peer out the window. Tyrell narrowed his eyes and buzzed again, yelling up at Elliot. "Hey it's me! Please let me in, I just want to see how you're doing." A few moments passed and the doors opened. Tyrell stepped I dm the decaying building, a musty scent floating in the old air. Tyrell reached Elliot's door, knocking gently. He adjusted his tie as Elliot opened the door. Tyrell studied him, he slightly better. He let out a heavy sigh. He leaned forward and greeted Elliot in an embrace. "Thank god you're okay."

Elliot remained silent, eventually hugging Tyrell back. "I'm okay. Sorry, I didn't expect you to be here." Elliot welcomed the other in, his apartment an absolute mess. Tyrell did his best to holdback a remark. Elliot was not living in good healthy conditions. Instead he put on a grin, and stood in front of Elliot. "It's okay. So, how've you been?" Tyrell was holding back his tongue, and Elliot knew it too. He knew that familiar look. Tyrell wants to scream but he would never scream at Elliot. Elliot rubs the back of his neck. "You don't have to pretend, I know your angry at me." Tyrell closes his eyes and sighs heavily. "I'm not pretending, and I'm not angry at you." Oh Tyrell was livid but he wouldn't let Elliot know that. The Swede rubbed his forehead and fluttered his eyelashes, unshed tears already forming. "I was just concerned Elliot. I haven't heard for you in weeks, I got scared." Elliot's heart sank as he watched Tyrell try to compose himself. Elliot almost wanted Tyrell to tell at him. He was a terrible person, and an even more terrible boyfriend. He shakily stepped forward, slowly wrapping his arms around the shivering businessman. Tyrell’s breath hitched in his throat as he began sobbing. Hot tears covered Elliot’s shoulder, but he just shut his eyes and rubbed his lover’s back.

_Fall down into sleep_

_Into a fevered dream_

_Where I barely know what is going on_

As Elliot opened his eyes, they were filled with darkness. He was in a dark room, soft bedsheets around his waist. All he was wearing was a pair of black boxer briefs. He blushed. Elliot felt hot breath on his collarbone. He quivered. He turned and saw a familiar content face. Elliot wiped his eyes and nose, his brain and scrambled mess. He stared at Tyrell for some time, a subtle grin on his cheeks. Tyrell looked so peaceful when he slept. He looked down and noticed their hands were intertwined. Elliot grinned wider. **“How long do you think this will last for?”** Elliot’s stomach sunk. A blurry figure walked from the corner of the room. It was him. Mr. Robot adjusted his cap and glasses, shooting Elliot a disgusting glare. He swallowed heavily, doing his best to control his nerves. “Go away.” The hacker grumbled, not wanting to be too loud. He didn’t want to wake Tyrell. Mr. Robot only scoffed. **“How cute. You must really care for him.”** He shook his head repeatedly, pacing around the dimly lit room. Elliot turned his attention away from Robot and looked at Tyrell. His heart flipped. He really did care for Tyrell. He would do anything for him. Elliot squeezed his hand tighter. Mr. Robot chuckled, clicking his tongue against his teeth. **“Such a shame, but we both know this can’t last forever.”** Elliot’s eyes narrowed, turning his attention back to Robot. Tears began filling his eyes. “Why can’t it?” Elliot held back his voice, closing his eyes in anger. Robot only shook his head again, slightly rolling his eyes. **“Don’t be childish. We both know people like us don’t get happy endings. This isn’t some fairytale Elliot. We have important work to be done, instead of wasting our time with some foreign fuck.”** Elliot felt something snap within himself, he slid his hand underneath Tyrell’s. He got off the bed, hands clenched in firm fists. Mr. Robot only raised a curious eyebrow. Elliot invaded the space between them, a wild look covering his face. “We? There is no we. Don’t get things confused. Tyrell doesn’t love us, he loves me. He’s the only one who’s constantly stayed by my side. He’s the only one who truly cares for me, w-who truly loves me.” His voice hitched, choking on his own words. Robot was silent now, studying Elliot’s expression. Tears fell from his eyes, his fists loosen. “I love him. And I want to fight for it, for us, for happiness.” More tears fell from the hacker’s face. Robot and Elliot locked eyes for a moment before he leaned into Elliot’s ear. **“Then you’re a fool. When things go wrong, I won’t be there to help you. Just look what happened to Shayla.”** Elliot’s heart stopped, his breathing becoming more rapid. Fuck he’s right, isn’t he? But Elliot shook those thoughts away, turning his head away. **“Everything you love dies. Just accept it, you ruin everything you touch. Let him go while you still have the chance.”** God no. Elliot’s hands and body were trembly. Mr. Robot looked once more at Elliot before looking at something behind him. **“Looks like someone’s awake. Break it to him gently, kiddo.”** He scuffed, patting Elliot on the shoulder. As soon as Elliot turned around, he was gone. With a long sigh, he was met with someone’s blue eyes. Tyrell was up, and very much awake. His eyes were widened, and his breathing heavy and labored. Shit, did he hear them? The Swede was leaning on his arm, slowly pulling the blankets off of his exposed legs. Elliot tried to avoid contact as he inched closer to the bed. Tyrell looked down before looking back up at Elliot. A shy smile was pressed on his lips. Why does he look so happy? Elliot picked up his jeans and shirt, slipping them on anxiously. “Elliot, was that him?” The hacker swallowed hard. “Yes.” Tyrell flipped his legs around so they were hanging off the bed. Elliot grabbed his hoodie, zipping it up. Tyrell gathered his clothes, putting on his sweatpants. There was silence for a brief moment, when Tyrell decided to break it. “D-Did you really mean that?” His voice was low but happy at the same time. Tyrell stood up, looking into Elliot. Elliot’s heart was beating like crazy. Mr. Robots words echoed in his head. He looked back at Tyrell, tears welling. The Swede felt his heart sink. “I don’t know what you thought you heard. B-But it’s not true, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Tyrell’s eyebrows raised, his heart crumbling. He clenched his fists, he knew Elliot was lying. More tears fell from Elliot’s cheeks, he was crying now. Tyrell stepped closer, “Elliot I-“ The hacker only shook his head before covering his arm with his eyes, he ran out of the room. Tyrell whipped around in heartbroken surprise. Elliot stumbled quickly down the stairs, and out the front door. Tyrell panicked, following after Elliot. He swiftly put on a shirt and grabbed his coat, quickly putting his shoes on. He called after Elliot, but Tyrell couldn’t see him. The Swede could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He closed his eyes, running aimlessly into the cold winter night.

_Except I know that I want you_

_And I know that I need you_

_And I tell you I love you again and again and again and again_

Heavy snow fall from the morning clouds, the air frigid like ace. Tyrell felt like he’d been walking for days. His nose was beet red, his tears frozen on his face. The sky was quickly turning brighter, the sunset rising over the horizon. White snow gathered around Tyrell’s feet, but there was no sight of Elliot. His heart was heavy and worrisome. The Swede could imagine his poor Elliot out in the cold, a crying miserable mess. But those words he spoke, kept replaying in his head. _“I love him. And I want to fight for it, for us, for happiness.”_ Tyrell knew he meant those words, he wasn’t sure what Mr. Robot told him but he knows he needs to find Elliot. If only Elliot half of what Tyrell feels for him. As the sun continues to rise Tyrell enters a forest, the sight is absolutely beautiful. He follows the path until he comes to a clearing. Park benches are spread around, even a big fountain stands in the middle. He looks around until he spots a familiar figured passed out on one of the benches. His heart quickens, as he approaches Elliot. The younger’s eyes look red and swollen, his skin a couple shades lighter. Concern fills his body as he presses his palm against Elliot’s forehead. Tyrell’s heart sinks even further into his stomach. The Swede studied him closely as Elliot’s frozen eyes begin to flutter open. The hacker’s eyes immediately shrink at the sight of Tyrell who smiles at him. Elliot jolts up, spring to his feet. “Elliot it’s okay, it’s only me.” Elliot’s chest is an icy mess but he quickly feels the blood pumping into his veins. More unshed tears begin to peek out. Tyrell pulls Elliot close, caressing his sides. “Come on, lets get you home. You’re freezing.” Actually, Elliot was worse than that. Tyrell worried he was close to hypothermia. It took a few moments for Elliot to react but he slowly shook his head. “No, I-I can’t.” His lip was quivering. Elliot really wanted to go home with him. He imagined a perfect world where they’d go back hand in hand. They’d make hot chocolate and snuggle together on the sofa, watching old Christmas movies. However, this world is far from perfect. Elliot was insanely far from perfect, and happiness too. Mr. Robot is right, it’s easier to let Tyrell go before Elliot becomes any more attached. He doesn’t want Tyrell to get hurt. Elliot wouldn’t know what to do with himself if something were to happen. Tyrell narrowed his eyes, body shaking. The cold was driving them both crazy but, that was the last thing on their minds right now. “Elliot please, I don’t know what he said to you but, I love you. I know we can make it through this, please. I can’t lose you.” Tyrell was crying, Elliot’s heart dipped. He was too beautiful to cry, those ocean eyes looking back into his. The truth is, Elliot can’t lose him either. He shut his eyes, letting the tears fall like a faucet. Tyrell pulled the other into a warm tight embrace. “Tyrell I-I can’t, I can’t.” Elliot was a broken record. The Swede didn’t mind, he hushed him and caressed his face and hair. Elliot finally managed enough strength and pulled away. “Tyrell we cant, do this anymore..” Elliot let his voice trail off, turning his face away. Tyrell only leaned closer. “Why? What are you afraid of? We’re perfect for each other- I don’t understand. I love you.” There’s those words again. Three simple words, eight simple letters. But they fill Elliot with so much hope and light. He knows Tyrell means them. Elliot clenches his tired jaw. “I-I can’t risk something happening to you. Everyone I love ends up getting hurt, a-and I can’t see that happen to you. It’s best if we-“ However, Elliot was cut off by a pair of cold lips. He knows those lips, so well. In this moment, everything in the world seems to fade. Tyrell and him are the only real people around. Elliot’s heart could explode. He’s never been kissed with so much passion, hurt, and love all at the same time. Honestly, Tyrell does some dangerous things to the hacker’s heart. But he loves it. Elliot loves it so much. He understands now, the feeling of always wanting to be by someone’s side. To never let them go. Tyrell slowly and hesitantly pulled away, noses still touching. They stare at each other for awhile. “Elliot, I love you so much. I need you, äskling. Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’ll pass. But I want you to know I will never leave you, I will always be there for you.” Tyrell takes a breath and intertwines their fingers together. Elliot’s breath hitches. He can feel the heat between them growing. “I know we can do this. I believe in you so much, we can both find happiness in each other. You bring me so much love, a love I’ve never felt before. Truth is, I’m nothing without you. So please, don’t go. Don’t let him win this battle, you’re so strong Elliot.” He caresses Elliot’s warm wet cheeks. Elliot’s on the verge of balling. “And I’m so lucky to be able to call you mine. I love you, I love you...” Tyrell kept repeating those words until he began sobbing again. They both held each other as the snow fell around them. Chest to chest, heart to heart. This is all Elliot could ever need. To be loved, to feel the affection he’s always longed for. And he’s not ready for anything to take his love away from him.

_Because all I want is that cold affliction_

_Your affection_

_Affection_

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments to let me know what you think! I always love to hear feedback. Thank you for reading ❤️


End file.
